Showing posts with label Dallas Morning News Community Voices. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dallas Morning News Community Voices. Show all posts

Sunday, February 23, 2014

Clothing Colors Make Less Difference Than Effort


So my most recent Dallas Morning News column got posted.  While I normally post the text within my blog, I would love it if you wander over to the DMN site and read it there.  I guess I am being bad and hoping for an extra few hits for my editor to take notice of from my loyal readers.

The bottom line preview for you though is clothing can make the man (or woman), but the usual clothing choices do not show where the real battle is in terms of statistics.

If you have a moment, this Sunday morning, I would be grateful if you would check it out and ruminate on your way to church or whatnot.  Thoughtful comments are always appreciated and I am already busily working on another education column that I have in mind for a few weeks from now.  Everyone stay safe and have a great day.

Thursday, December 12, 2013

Being A Helicopter Dad


So my latest article for the Dallas Morning News Voices section was published this past Tuesday.  This one has been a long time coming as I think it was submitted in early November, but due to space and time issues, did not make it into print until this week.

Nonetheless, I guess somewhere in here I should say thank you to my darlin wife who supports my ability to do these and so many other things.  I hope the article is not taken as a missed opportunity to say thank you to her or my four children, but more a regret that I do not always have the opportunities to do those things I would like to, dropping in and out to fix a problem before moving on.  I also regret not focusing on their needs better than I do sometimes.  While this wasn't written for the holidays, perhaps it is a good time to remember what really is your area of focus and concentrate on that.


I ignore the rain and honking cars as I catch the all too common “see you soon” from my oldest, who goes back to his book. Anxious drivers behind us will just have to wait a minute while I steal quick kisses from my 4-year-old and 10-month-old daughters and remind my son that he needs to finish his schoolwork before the end of the week. The goodbyes and kisses that send me on my way make the elixir that keeps me going. My family’s strength lets me focus on what I do. My work-life balance is about to get tipped really far toward work.
 
I’m at the airport, about to catch a ride to my second home where I work as a flight paramedic in a remote area, transporting the sick and the injured to a hospital capable of handling their needs. I commute by plane so I can work on a helicopter.
 
My pilot, my nurse and I are the folks who come to treat you when others can’t. It’s not always as glamorous as TV makes it out to be, but it does have its cool factor. We drop in, make quick assessments and field diagnoses, stabilize the situation, and then drop you off so we can get ready for the next challenge.
 
Working so far from home for long stretches of time makes me wonder if I have gone soft on my kids when I am with them. The term helicopter parent describes characteristics that I neither support nor subscribe to. Who wants to be a helicopter dad?
 
Helicopter parents hover over their children and protect them from what they perceive to be a hostile and dangerous world. I know how dangerous the world is, and that if my kids don’t build some resilience and mental toughness now, their world will be more challenging later.
 
When I think of the toughest challenges that I face, I don’t think about the accidents and myriad gunshot victims I have treated; I’ve been a paramedic and those are easy at this point. No, I think about logistics and scheduling and how to make the most impact in the least amount of time as a father.
 
How am I going to get home to see this weekend’s baseball games? Who can I arrange to throw with my son during the off-season to help his pitching arm stay strong with me gone? Meanwhile, his younger brother has the skills to finish work in class, but has the same fits of lazy dreaminess that his dad once had, and he needs some extra attention. It’s hard to be there when you’re treating and calming bleeding patients during a frantic helicopter ride 500 miles away.
 
What about my darling princesses? How do I feed my 10-month-old or change her diaper? How do I even just sneak away from Momma with my older daughter on some shopping trip so we can accidentally drive by the frozen yogurt place that has the right combination of sprinkles and fresh-cut strawberries to make an afternoon without big brothers so perfect?
 
Oh, did I mention dating time for some personal attention for my wife?
 
Maybe it’s just what I am good at — dropping in, isolating a problem and then fixing it, before darting off to another. Maybe my family doesn’t realize how much I am playing paramedic even when I am home. Maybe the balance I seek is not to be measured over the course of a day or week, but rather a lifetime. Maybe I am a helicopter parent after all, but when can I just be Dad?
 
The drivers behind us honk again, but I need these moments with my family. Just a little longer.

Maybe we could all use a little more focus on what is important?
 
 

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Empathy and Strength

This is a tough topic: Alzheimer's and dementia.

Thus far I have not had to deal with it except in third person as a citizen watching President Reagan's health deteriorate after he had left Washington, but as many of you know, I write for the Dallas Morning News Community Voices section.

One of my colleagues if you will, Catherine Ehret, had this piece published based on her experience with her mother.  I ask you to read it and sit back and think.

I bring it up today because I nominated it for the best of the early submissions in our group and was amazed at the professional columnist's take on it.  It doesn't matter who, but I was amazed at the ticky tackiness of writers who criticized the piece.

For me, I found it to be genius.  It has the true heart of good writing which includes an utter honesty about the situation the author is facing in the very non-fiction reality which she and her family exist right now dealing as Catherine notes "It’s strange to write in the past tense when your subject is still alive."  There is no gloss covering what was clearly a loving, but perhaps somewhat distant relationship.  This was a great column in my mind and I hope you will think so too.  When I read it I immediately empathize with her situation and am not-so-secretly happy I am not dealing with the issue, but I also admire the rock of strength that Catherine clearly has - both the medical situation her mother has and submitting herself to the arrows of "friends" in an open critique session.

The whole issue makes me think of the people with the blue pencil in our lives who are editing or trying to edit away.  Sometimes I have to ask what is their purpose?  Are they trying to make us better or just more like them?  Either way, go have a great Wednesday and be careful who you let edit your life.

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

9/11 - Twelve years later...

Today is always a raw day for me, but this year I have a distraction with the new job.  In the meantime, the Dallas Morning News posted the following that I had written for their Voices section:


Are you waving your flag? Today is Sept. 11, and I wave the flag today out of respect for my first-responder brothers in New York who died that morning racing up steps when others were running away.
 
Twelve years ago, I responded to the Pentagon after a unit from the fire department reported a plane down and heavy black smoke. I had a front-row seat to hundreds of deaths that day.
I’m a paramedic by both profession and avocation, so I’m not squeamish. When death happens, the talking heads talk and most of us watch, but not everyone. Some people act.
 
I have watched 9/11 be used by this group or that to make their political cases — for a bigger Transportation Security Administration, a more heavy-handed National Security Agency, for protections for Muslims, or whatever cause célèbre.
 
I watch as members of the media fall all over themselves to cover these machinations, and I think about a comment a friend made recently: We slobber all over the charismatic — the great stories — but not the good stories where people are doing important work without making it a show. It’s the workhorse vs. show horse argument.
 
Thirty years ago, when three homeless men in Dallas died after sleeping in large trash bins, many were horrified. But rather than lamenting their deaths and going about his own life, Jerry Hill, an Episcopalian priest, started asking how to help the homeless.
 
His was not a mission for cameras and applause, but he kept going anyway. Again and again, he kept going because he wanted to provide a safe place for those who were left behind on the street. He wanted no accolades or honors, but rather to provide a shelter where he could show his care for his brothers.
 
Like the fire service that works as a unit and as your second family, Hill enlisted the assistance of businessmen, other clergy and the community at large for what became the Austin Street Shelter. He built a team that consisted of people trying to make a positive difference. The shelter might be considered a testimony to one man’s quest to do a little good.
 
The apple, of course, doesn’t fall far from the tree. Hill’s son, Marty, is just as involved in the community. He is developing a center to help women with addictions.
In both cases I think of the race — or marathon — these men are running, trying to outpace such overwhelming forces.
 
When I think of 9/11, I think of Jerry and Marty Hill. I also think of Bob Schiavone, a former New York firefighter who now manages high school programs for adults in Los Angeles. The flag he waves is for the challenges he is fighting today, and he does so quietly, respectfully.
 
These men remind me of former Archbishop Desmond Tutu, who said, “Do a little bit of good wherever you are; it’s those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world.”
 
When you wave flags this week, I hope you will think about how you can be of service to your community. What tragedy, big or small, can you help lessen?  There are flags to be waved, but they should wave with dignity for the races yet to be run, races in your community.
 
Are you up for it?

For now, I hope those lost will be mourned and remembered and that we are each up for the next task at hand.