Friday Night Music

It is certainly not a new song, but in honor of my younger son's affinity for the tune and since he was out at a dinner party (for eight year old's) celebrating a friend's birthday and as he would say "party rocking," I will go with LMFAO for this week's Friday music.

For those of you old enough to remember Friday Night Videos, I am re-introducing the concept with a song every Friday night.  This week, I have to go with one of my favorite songs for the holiday season*, Elmo and Patsy's "Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer."  Enjoy!


* For those of you offended by the use of the term holiday, tough.  I use the word holiday because this song is for the christmas season, not Christmas.  There is little about reindeer or Santa in the Christ Mass.  This being the case, holiday season seems more appropriate to me.

You're Entitled To Your Opinion As Long As It Agrees With Mine

Be yourself; everyone else is already taken. – Oscar Wilde

So Phil Robertson…having a successful television show wasn’t enough?  Being followed by millions on the airwaves, currently on A&E, wasn’t enough for you to hold off on talking about God for just a little while?

It reminds me of the line in the movie Braveheart when the Princess offers William Wallace a chest of gold and he responds “…that I should become Judas?”  Amazingly enough, you stuck with God and seem indifferent to the decision by the network ivory tower types to suspend you from the show.  Great job.

Too many people in this day and age sacrifice themselves on the altar of paycheck or fame or whatnot. It is great to see someone who is not doing that right now.

Moreover, I think agree with Matt Walsh’s blog that this is the same as network suicide.  I agree with him that someone did not look at the Chick-Fil-A example a very few months ago.  Could there be a better example of boycott going wrong and responding to a vocal minority?

In any case, I don’t remember if it was Michelle Malkin or Katie Pavlich who tweeted it out, but Glen Beck has a pretty successful thing happening down the street.  Maybe he could pick you up and A&E can see how far its influence goes then.

Being A Helicopter Dad

So my latest article for the Dallas Morning News Voices section was published this past Tuesday.  This one has been a long time coming as I think it was submitted in early November, but due to space and time issues, did not make it into print until this week.

Nonetheless, I guess somewhere in here I should say thank you to my darlin wife who supports my ability to do these and so many other things.  I hope the article is not taken as a missed opportunity to say thank you to her or my four children, but more a regret that I do not always have the opportunities to do those things I would like to, dropping in and out to fix a problem before moving on.  I also regret not focusing on their needs better than I do sometimes.  While this wasn't written for the holidays, perhaps it is a good time to remember what really is your area of focus and concentrate on that.

I ignore the rain and honking cars as I catch the all too common “see you soon” from my oldest, who goes back to his book. Anxious drivers behind us will just have to wait a minute while I steal quick kisses from my 4-year-old and 10-month-old daughters and remind my son that he needs to finish his schoolwork before the end of the week. The goodbyes and kisses that send me on my way make the elixir that keeps me going. My family’s strength lets me focus on what I do. My work-life balance is about to get tipped really far toward work.

 

I’m at the airport, about to catch a ride to my second home where I work as a flight paramedic in a remote area, transporting the sick and the injured to a hospital capable of handling their needs. I commute by plane so I can work on a helicopter.

 

My pilot, my nurse and I are the folks who come to treat you when others can’t. It’s not always as glamorous as TV makes it out to be, but it does have its cool factor. We drop in, make quick assessments and field diagnoses, stabilize the situation, and then drop you off so we can get ready for the next challenge.

 

Working so far from home for long stretches of time makes me wonder if I have gone soft on my kids when I am with them. The term helicopter parent describes characteristics that I neither support nor subscribe to. Who wants to be a helicopter dad?

 

Helicopter parents hover over their children and protect them from what they perceive to be a hostile and dangerous world. I know how dangerous the world is, and that if my kids don’t build some resilience and mental toughness now, their world will be more challenging later.

 

When I think of the toughest challenges that I face, I don’t think about the accidents and myriad gunshot victims I have treated; I’ve been a paramedic and those are easy at this point. No, I think about logistics and scheduling and how to make the most impact in the least amount of time as a father.

 

How am I going to get home to see this weekend’s baseball games? Who can I arrange to throw with my son during the off-season to help his pitching arm stay strong with me gone? Meanwhile, his younger brother has the skills to finish work in class, but has the same fits of lazy dreaminess that his dad once had, and he needs some extra attention. It’s hard to be there when you’re treating and calming bleeding patients during a frantic helicopter ride 500 miles away.

 

What about my darling princesses? How do I feed my 10-month-old or change her diaper? How do I even just sneak away from Momma with my older daughter on some shopping trip so we can accidentally drive by the frozen yogurt place that has the right combination of sprinkles and fresh-cut strawberries to make an afternoon without big brothers so perfect?

 

Oh, did I mention dating time for some personal attention for my wife?

 

Maybe it’s just what I am good at — dropping in, isolating a problem and then fixing it, before darting off to another. Maybe my family doesn’t realize how much I am playing paramedic even when I am home. Maybe the balance I seek is not to be measured over the course of a day or week, but rather a lifetime. Maybe I am a helicopter parent after all, but when can I just be Dad?

 

The drivers behind us honk again, but I need these moments with my family. Just a little longer.

Maybe we could all use a little more focus on what is important?

 

 

 

Titles

There is an old question in politics: are you running for office to be something, or to do something?  The distinction is important.  Are you trying to fix an issue or a problem or do you need a title to be self-important?

The same issue happens with guys who end up in law enforcement who don’t have the temperament for dealing with people on the wrong side of situations.  They find that the badge and gun give them the same strength that the liquid courage provides the loud mouths at the bar.  The difference of course is the drunk at the bar, usually isn’t a public servant.  

Similarly, there are people who need the validation from the bosses about their work and this can only happen when they get whatever title they seek.  The job itself is secondary to the goal of getting the job, i.e. backwards.  The job should be the goal, not the title. 

Unfortunately, we all know the guy or girl so desperate to get the job and announce their success that they forget the work that goes with it.  Woops.  Most of them do not understand that their job function as they “climb the ladder” is to serve more people, not be served.  This upside down pyramid of leadership is misunderstood by many managers and those who wish to lead. 

I generally find these people to not have the mental toughness to get things done.  They are the co-workers who ask for help with a task and when it is given, they ignore you and go their own way.  Some folks want to know how to use an umbrella I guess and some are willing to get wet because they ignore the common sense that makes things work.  Truly, I guess common sense is a super power.

Well to those hoping for new titles, or getting them, congratulations.  I hope you are up to the task you have set for yourself.  While you are busy being something, I need to go do some things.

Holiday Hate

So I write this blog and I write in a few other venues.  I get feedback sometimes.  Often it is great, but sometimes…well, wow.  A piece I recently read got a quiet comment “This is really nice” from a tough critic.  Not a bad critic, but the type who when you get a compliment like this means the world.

Meanwhile, the same article had someone telling me not to think I’m special.  Good news.  I don’t. 

I try to answer the bell that gets rung.  I try to do it better than others do and I don’t apologize for that.  What got me the most was the clear unhappiness in the e-mail. 

I am pretty comfortable I didn’t do anything to this person, but I wonder what goes on in people’s head that they want to carry this unhappiness with me.  How deep seated is the depression for people to react with words of anger towards a stranger?  I don’t know, but it reminds me of a recent homily from my parish priest that it is okay to smile AND be angry. 

His argument was that it is okay to be angry with situations that are clearly not right, but you can smile and explain that you are angry while carrying a smile so that you can carry your Christian cross of charity towards all. 

While neither the article, nor the e-mail or the homily for that matter, had any connection to Christmas, perhaps it would be useful to now go back to the homily and remember that Advent offers us each the opportunity to smile as we express our displeasure in shopping lines, at physician appointments, or even within office politics. 

We will see, but in the meantime, send in your comments…gently please.

 

Life's Little Surprises

 

Some days life will just throw a curve at you.  You go into the day thinking it will be like any other, just another day of swatting the bat at what comes along…batting practice speed fastballs, take your hacks and make sure your proverbial timing is down…when boom, the ball breaks.  Who throws breaking balls during batting practice and I’m not talking a batting practice breaking ball anyway.  I mean a Christy Matthewson 12-6 curve that falls off the table.  Where did that come from?  (For my baseball purists, yes, I am aware, that the Christian Gentleman threw less of a traditional 12-6 curve than he did a 9-3 screwball, but my point is the same.  You expect something really straight forward and then boom!) 

Day in and day out we have our habits, good and bad, which define us.  Who breaks tradition and gets a McDonalds coffee on Thursday when the rest of the week is Starbucks?  It just doesn’t happen, right?  I know I have my morning routine whether I am headed to work or not.  It seems to infuriate my kids when I am always up at 5AM or thereabouts central time with or without the alarm clock.  What is the likelihood you do too?  

So we live our lives, or pretend to, shuffling along trying to move up a rung of our corporate ladder or team or just stay put, stay in our pajamas and shuffle along watching whatever is on the idiot box until a call.  No, I don’t mean an EMS call per se, but now and then you see things different.  You do something or something is done and it disrupts the plan and then you get to see things fresh.  Whatever it is that breaks up your pond, those ripples allow you to change you pattern long enough to see something different and then it hits you.  There’s more out there than shuffling along.

Sometimes life’s little surprises are completely unplanned for and they happen when you would least expect them.  Sometimes life’s surprises end up changing other plans you had months down the road, but what can you do, but smile and say “thanks God…I needed that.”  Indeed sometimes, we all need a breaking ball in our life to change up our perspective and lend a new set of eyes to who we are, what we are doing, and where we are headed.  It isn’t enough to say we are headed in the right direction.  Now and then you have to look up and make sure and sometimes you need someone to put an obstacle in your path to make sure you are going in the right direction.