Everybody Have Fun Tonight...With Accountants

Okay, so don't get me wrong because I volunteered for this assignment, but last month the annual holiday party hosted by my wife's Big Four tax firm had to be cancelled due to the ice and snow that had blanketed the Dallas/Fort Worth region.  We had not intended to go because it's a party...with accountants.  I mean how many times can you tell accounting jokes?  For some of the worst (or best) read below.

However, when it wad rescheduled I was like why not?  It's a free meal, it's a night away from the children...what's not to like?

That being the case, I bring you Wang Chung and "Everybody Have Fun Tonight" because what is more relevant to an accountant that hot hits from the 80s?

And in case you find yourself partying tonight with number crunchers, here is a quick set of jokes until you can order large quantities of liquor...

(1) Two accountants are in a bank when armed robbers burst in. While several of the robbers take the money from the tellers, others line the customers up against a wall and proceed to take their wallets, watches, and other valuables. In the midst of the chaos, accountant No. 1 jams something in accountant No. 2’s hand. Without looking down, accountant No. 2 whispers, "What is this?" to which accountant number one replies, "It's that $50 I owe you."

(2) An accountant is reading nursery rhymes to her young child. When she is finished, she answers her son’s question: "No, son. When Little Bo Peep lost her sheep that wouldn't be tax deductible — but I like your thinking.”

(3) An accountant goes into a pet shop to buy a parrot. The shop owner shows him three parrots on a perch and says, "The parrot on the left costs $500." "Why does that parrot cost so much?" asks the accountant. "Well," replies the owner, "it knows how to do complex audits." "How much does the middle parrot cost?" asks the accountant. "That one costs $1,000 because it can do everything the first one can do, plus it knows how to prepare financial forecasts." The startled accountant asks about the third parrot, to be told it costs $4,000. Needless to say, this begs the question, "What can it do?" to which the owner replies "To be honest, I've never seen him do a darn thing, but the other two call him Senior Partner."