Freedom: If you want to make an @$$ of you and me...

...continue to make assumptions.  A wonderful little book has been out since the late 90s, but apparently missed by a great many people, until Oprah Winfrey found it recently and re-invigorated it's standing.  The title of the book is The Four Agreements, written by Don Miguel Ruiz, and it may be the success philosophy in it which makes it an interesting read as we start a New Year.

One of the four "agreements" regards assumptions and while it is number three on his list, it is first on mine because so much of our life is based on assumption.  We plan to drive from here to there and a map and common sense tells us it should take half an hour.  Due to bad weather and a traffic accident, it takes an hour and a half.  Our day is challenged because we made an assumption on traffic patterns.

On the book's cover, Ruiz suggests we "find the courage to ask questions and express what we really want."  He goes on that we should communicate with others as clearly as possible to avoid misunderstandings, drama, and sadness.

It makes sense, but instead we prefer to make ourselves and others into horse's behinds, don't we?  How hard is it to challenge a server to make a sandwich a slightly different way at your local restaurant because you like it that way so much more.  Why is it intimidating for us to ask someone who is serving us for something as simple as sweetener as opposed to sugar with our coffee if that is the preference?

Similarly, how often do we find ourselves not communicating and standing behind "no comment" or "I don't knows" so that we can avoid real conversation?  If you need another example, think about a post-Christmas conversation with your children.  Did they get everything they want?  Maybe, maybe not.  Some kids seem to have unrealistic expectations of what. St. Nick is bringing whereas others know exactly what they want and can not communicate it.  In the case of the second child, how sad for them, they did not want to explain to mom, dad, or whoever what they really wanted under the tree that year.

In both of these situations we lose the ability to be free and find a little truth.  For me the coffee is a little bit sweeter with Equal than I get with real sugar.  You're right, Equal isn't organic and that is probably why I love it, but is it that scary to make these requests?